31-40 Highlights

Here are some of the hits:

Bore two babies
Did get the epidural (after 24 hours you just get the epidural)
Did not get stretch marks
Did get post partum depression
Took Prozac for a short time
Discovered what artificial cabin pressure does to you while trying to breastfeed. HILARIOUS......
Did not follow my instincts when they were screaming at me and took the job with Voldemort...
Worked for She Who Shall Not Be Named aka the meanest boss in the world
Watched the Towers fall
Was in a tornado
Worked for a YaYa Sister aka my later in life mom
Gave up a faith
Started Improv
Found myself again
Met some of the best female friends of my life
Was man-handled during a fundraising event
Did not sue for said work related manhandling
Made up, from scratch, musical theater songs while live and in front of paying audience members
Threw up for the first time in 15 years (sadly, tequila related)
Started Blogging
Nearly lost the eldest child in a car accident
Did countless things that are unbloggable, but if you ask me in person I'll probably tell you and of which I am quite proud
Pierced a few things
Co-produced a women's comedy festival now in it's 4th year
Lost some amazing friends
Went through a 4 year process of getting mom here and dealing with her dementia
Put my mother in a nursing home
Cried. A lot.
Took Xanax during that time period
Went to LA for the first time and loved it
Celebrated my 16th anniversary
Saw America's first African American President
Was appointed to the PTA
Ate raw meat, sweetbreads, testicles and crickets and also loved it (except the crickets were pretty scaley)
Started showing people who I really was and dealing with the aftermath
Had a private meeting with Nina Hartley
Developed a taste for gin
Was pulled over for going 105 miles per hour in the Texas desert but did NOT get a ticket (and no I did NOT use crying or boobs to get out of it).
Started training for a triathlon (not unlike prepping for the first labor ironically 10 full years ago)
Thrown countless dinner parties
Found hundreds of friends on FB
Changed a hundred thousand diapers
Realized the failures I'd made
Pondered my existence

Comments

  1. WAIT, wait, wait...

    I can't believe you just glossed over this.

    What DOES artificial cabin pressure do to you while you're trying to breastfeed?!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Think breast shaped Champagne Fountain and a very wet and milky lavatory. Good times.....goodt imes....

    ReplyDelete

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