Competencies

I try to be competent at all things I do. I handle a lot in my life and I usually handle it well. I don't always excel. I'm not the most exacting or precise tool in the shed. But I generally function well, and am usually in it up to my eardrums in everything I usually post about. I don't always feel like I get a lot of feedback. I suppose that means people like what I'm doing, though who can be sure?

I've been running a marathon of my own making the past few weeks. I am starting to feel incompetent at many things at the moment. I'm tired and withdrawn. Too sensitive to silly jabs. Dropping into a familiar dark trough which I expect a few times a year, I'm just sure my schedule isn't helping matters.

Mostly, I'm just not seeing the point of all the things I'm doing. I realize there is a point. I'm just having a hard time figuring what it is exactly, or what would be lost if I wasn't doing all the things I'm busy doing. I know that's a false perspective, I get it, I'm just down.

It could be that I'm just tired. Which I should get no sympathy for cause I did it to myself. Maybe I need to admit that, unlike some folks, I need breaks. I shouldn't try to keep up.

So, the one thing I can take an break from, at least for a week or so, is this here blog. Just not gonna put up much until I'm in a better head space and have the clever and entertaining words to post about such things as the B52's, growing up in the early 80s, the reasons improv works or doesn't, the Austin State Hospital, and the roly polys in my life.