Mother's day. Ladies are funny (Festival). Breaks. Links, lots of them.

I thought that perhaps today (Mother's Day) would inspire me to write some kind of Deep and Thoughtful post, though when it comes to posts on having a mother or becoming a mother, I've already written them. I like them anyway, though poetry is always a hard call, too bad if you hate it :)

Mother's Day is a funny day. I have issues with it, not the least of which is that it's one of those days when you hand over cheap gifts from Target or tacky gifts from Zales for all the "hard work mom has selflessly done for you". I have issues with many Hallmark Holidays, though that's not entirely where MD got it's start.

Other writers also have issues with it and I tend to feel a sympatico to Anne's perspective. While all of us come into this world, via a female uterus and/or vagina (god bless 'em), not all of us have good mothers, live mothers, healthy mothers, mothers of the cisfemale persuasion, or any mothers at all. And many women go on to live very happy healthy satisfied lives without spawning little recombined versions of themselves.

I dislike Valentine's day because of it's focus on erotic love. I would prefer to celebrate February 14th for as many kinds of love as I am capable of feeling including, but not limited to eros, agape, platonic, romantic friendships, creative liaisons, and familial.

Likewise, when it comes to Mother's Day, I think most of us have had someone in our lives that we've been nurtured by. And we've nearly all of us nurtured others. We've all loved and cared for and cleaned up after and held and witnessed others as they grow, and these people were men or women, or in transition, or older or younger.

So, I think there really shouldn't be "days" for expressing love to someone who has helped to guide your life, especially if that love comes in the form of a dopey card and not actual action. I think you should love how you love every day and show that love both in word and in action.

All that being said, I did celebrate Mother's Day and in both traditional and non traditional ways. I celebrated women all week at the Ladies Are Funny Comedy Festival. A more rowdy, raucous, sweet, filthy, delightful and filled with talent group of women there could never be. I'm not sure if I was the oldest gal at the party, but I felt very maternal and proud both for all the women involved and also of the festival itself. Four years old!! Nearly ready for pre-school!!!!!

And I celebrated with my family, boys competing in that wonderful way that boys do to use me as a little pawn in their tug of war. "I love her more!" "No, me!" While I know that fight was about them and not me, I couldn't help feel like a queen. For about 5 minutes.

And I celebrated with the man who helped me become a mother. He's amazing. And literally, I couldn't have done it without him.

And I celebrated with my own mother. Not too terribly long, but I did sit with her, her in her pink outfit, her with my boys at lunch, watching her face light up seeing my children, and remembering all the times that she made me crazy, let me be free, got in my way, and was ahead of her time in many, many ways.

And I cleaned my house, which was filthy from neglect, because I'm busy not taking breaks from my life.

Happy love to anyone out there who loves. Who puts the effort into the birth, no matter what that birth is. Who cares for someone even if it's hard. Who offers their history as a pathway for others.

Comments

  1. Happy (belated) Mothers Day to one of the coolest mothers I know. May I be as good at mothering as you are one day.

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