Back To Breaks

I'm really amazingly tired. I've pushed too hard for too long in too many arenas, all of them good and lovely and precious. And I'm falling behind on a few others.

Most days I wake up with this ache. It's sort of a space between physical and mental, the ache. The awareness that the day won't end until 10 pm, and not the just being at home doing things until 10 domestic work, but meetings and jobs and rehearsals and much(all?) of the scheduling is my own fault. It is a hard feeling, the ache, because even while I feel it, I love what I am doing. I love going to rehearsal, or planning an event, or writing, but I've reached a point where even the happiness brought by the activities is shaded, in a dark and sour tone, by the ache.

It has to get down to what are the things that are actually vital, what are the things that are joyful, and what are the things that make a difference in some way. And even so, something has got to give, because mostly (outside of the vital) I've only agreed to participate in things that are joy producing or could possibly be construed as difference making. So there isn't much to cut. Still, there needs to be a break. For a little while at least.

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